Quite often in my life I’ve found myself careering into a verbal cul de sac, or maybe chit-chatting myself down a one-way street the wrong way – of my own making of course. But I think I’ve gone above and beyond my usual ‘not thinking it all through thoroughly before I speak’ of late. This is something, I am sure, I will look back upon in the non-too-distant future and smile, maybe even chuckle to myself (self-deprecatingly of course) whilst shaking my head gently from side to side.
And the reason? I’ll be too busy trying to stick my hair back onto my head with a mishmash of Sellotape, Blu Tack and Pritt Stick – maybe some spittle, straw and cow dung to enhance the experience.
My explanation for the drama of sticky time is simple. A little like me, as it happens. The cause of my hair pulling and road offences boils down to what I have not long set myself up for. Yes. I have recently set up a giveaway of a signed copy of Driving Me Mad, or even an eBook, too. And what did I ask for in return? Just for you to let me know you wanted it – albeit, through a variety of means. Not too difficult to do, yes? For you, no. You all did it perfectly. For me, the one who dreamed up this simple and easy task, no. It was more difficult than me working on a calculus problem.
Let’s put it this way. Did I ask you which book format you would prefer? Did I bollocks. Did I query ‘Have you somewhere or thing on which you can read an eBook?’ No. I didn’t. Why? Because, as it has become blatantly obvious, I am a knob.
But. It will get sorted. I promise.
Therefore, I have to be more specific with round two of the giveaway.
I have had so many wonderful ideas for this next stage of the giveaway and I believe I’ll probably use most of them in the near future. Some of you are so imaginative and creative, I should ask you for plot ideas for my future stories. So what I did in the end was to choose the idea that had appeared more than once. Retelling a scary story was up there with the ‘possibles and maybes’, as that idea came through five times – not completely the same, a couple said about scary stories from their lives whereas the other three said about scary scenes from a book. I’ve had desert island ideas, favourite characters, aspects of our favourite characters’ lives – even to these characters performing a pop song – favourite books, scenes, movies, drinks, jokes – both about books or generally. Even selfies made an appearance. Funniest, most interesting, most embarrassing … and on the list goes. See? Original, imaginative, creative and brilliant.
But the one I will go for was mentioned six times. Seven if you included mine as I would have said this one too. If you are familiar with my Facebook page you will know I love any memes to do with books, reading, writing, grammar, stationery, dogs. Therefore, what I will write next has nearly already been written.
Here is what you have to do to win either a signed copy of Driving Me Mad or an eBook of your choice.
- You have to create a meme (der)
- It has to be about either books, reading, writing, grammar, stationery, dogs (sorry, no cats – this is not the purrrrrfect time to include them. Yes. I know its ruff on you cat lovers, but these are the rules) – and an honourable mention if you can amalgamate all of them.
- You send the meme to me (firstname.lastname@example.org) – not just post it on my Facebook page (this way I can alert you if you have won AND you can stipulate your prize – like ‘have you the means to read eBooks’ … not falling for that old chestnut again)
- I will post the best memes I receive onto Facebook and people will vote for the winners. This way I don’t have to do it. Grin.
- All memes to be sent to me by Saturday 5 March 2016
I’ll even help you out – https://imgflip.com/memegenerator
Okay. That seems to be it. For now. Looking forward to seeing what you can come up with. Get those creative juices flowing. Make us think, laugh, cry, yearn for pens, want to go out and pet a dog. You are now in the driving seat.